Public Declaration
Brip Blap started a new meme: a public delcaration!
So in my quest regularly to be a healthier person I wanted to post mines:
I commit publicly to stop binge eating!
This is the first time I've shared this personal struggle with anyone aside from my sister who tells me it'll improve. I'm embarrassed to admit I have this tendency where I stuff food into my mouth even though I'm not hungry.
Why do I do that?
I eat to cope with my stress and frustrations such as family and work. I've always been taught work hard and you'll get promoted and given more responsibility. I've taken steps to improve my appearance, build relationships at work, take courses and workshops to learn more about my job and ask for more responsibility. Of course I'm just naive. My boss keeps stonewalling me and then I got more bad news - I can't have work time to go to this workshop next month. I'm welcomed to use my own vacation time of course!
So I eat what's in my cupboard until I'm sick to solve my frustrations. I keep thinking eating will make me feel happier and improve my mood. I haven't binged on food in the last few weeks. Then to cope with my guilt and my gastro-intensetine issues I go for a hard-core run and then sometimes I eat again. Food doesn't solve any of my problems. It only makes me feel worse and sick to my stomach. I'd try to throw up but the bathroom's pretty gross so that prevents me from trying to unload all the crap I ingested.
The problem with food goes back to my childhood. My grandparents would always tell me to eat more because food is scarce and I may not get a chance to eat well for awhile. Then I'd eat until I was stuffed! At dinnertime my parents would serve me a full bowl (the nice small ones like at the restuarant) of white rice and tell me rice is good for me. And because it's always self-serve I'd heap tons of food on my bowl.
The only time when I don't binge eat is when I'm with friends or if I'm eating out and the portions are set. It's only when I have to serve myself that I slip up. I pack a very small lunch with only a teaspoon of each item of the food group. This prevents me from eating more than I can handle.
Food brings people together. It's what ties us to our family and our heritage. But I have yet to resolve completely my battle with overeating and food.
Has anyone else overcome a problem like binge eating before? What steps have you taken to fix a serious problem like this? Any other tips or suggestions would be really appreciated!
Also feel free to join the meme bandwagon!
So in my quest regularly to be a healthier person I wanted to post mines:
I commit publicly to stop binge eating!
This is the first time I've shared this personal struggle with anyone aside from my sister who tells me it'll improve. I'm embarrassed to admit I have this tendency where I stuff food into my mouth even though I'm not hungry.
Why do I do that?
I eat to cope with my stress and frustrations such as family and work. I've always been taught work hard and you'll get promoted and given more responsibility. I've taken steps to improve my appearance, build relationships at work, take courses and workshops to learn more about my job and ask for more responsibility. Of course I'm just naive. My boss keeps stonewalling me and then I got more bad news - I can't have work time to go to this workshop next month. I'm welcomed to use my own vacation time of course!
So I eat what's in my cupboard until I'm sick to solve my frustrations. I keep thinking eating will make me feel happier and improve my mood. I haven't binged on food in the last few weeks. Then to cope with my guilt and my gastro-intensetine issues I go for a hard-core run and then sometimes I eat again. Food doesn't solve any of my problems. It only makes me feel worse and sick to my stomach. I'd try to throw up but the bathroom's pretty gross so that prevents me from trying to unload all the crap I ingested.
The problem with food goes back to my childhood. My grandparents would always tell me to eat more because food is scarce and I may not get a chance to eat well for awhile. Then I'd eat until I was stuffed! At dinnertime my parents would serve me a full bowl (the nice small ones like at the restuarant) of white rice and tell me rice is good for me. And because it's always self-serve I'd heap tons of food on my bowl.
The only time when I don't binge eat is when I'm with friends or if I'm eating out and the portions are set. It's only when I have to serve myself that I slip up. I pack a very small lunch with only a teaspoon of each item of the food group. This prevents me from eating more than I can handle.
Food brings people together. It's what ties us to our family and our heritage. But I have yet to resolve completely my battle with overeating and food.
Has anyone else overcome a problem like binge eating before? What steps have you taken to fix a serious problem like this? Any other tips or suggestions would be really appreciated!
Also feel free to join the meme bandwagon!
posted by SF Money Musings at
1:55 PM
5 Comments:
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I'm glad that you are reaching out to try to make the situation better. Have you tried or considered talking to a professional? That's just one idea. I'm sure there are other ways.
I know a lot of women in particular have issues with food and eating. For me, it was with not allowing myself to eat enough, not letting myself eat certain things.
Binge eating was never really an issue for me, but I did experience it a few times when I really restricted my eating, then I'd end up eating like a whole box of chocolates all of a sudden. That was only a few times though. Maybe your lunch is too small so you make up for it by binging later?
Maybe I'll do a post on it bc I have meant to anyway, but for me what made me stop having these issues was to let go of the neurosis around food and allow food to only be about health.
I realized I was not taking care of myself and I was literally not nourishing myself (and if I don't do that for myself, who will, both literally and figuratively) by being that way. And from then on things improved. Food is meant for the purposes of nutrition and health. I think it helps to see it that way rather than as a weight or control thing or emotional tool.
Maybe finding other ways to reduce your stress, while working on changing your attitudes around food? I'm sure it's much more complicated than the insight my limited psych. knowledge and experience allows for, so maybe you'll find better help at some sort of support group (I know there is overeaters anonymous) or with a therapist. But I think it's important for you to take the steps you need to beat this, and a lot of times will power is just not enough.
That doesn't mean *you* are weak but our psyches aren't that simple and we can't always just talk ourselves out of our habits and feelings and compulsions. If only it were that easy, but as I'm sure you know, generally it's not.
I was lucky that I was able to get over my issues (for the most part) pretty instantaneously in a way. Health and really taking the best care of myself and my body I could just became more important to me than indulging the food issues I had were. But I know it isn't that quick or easy in most cases. I am here if you want to talk more about it and I think you'll find that many others have had struggles with food, weight, and eating as well who will want to talk about it with you.
I don't think you should ever feel ashamed to be open about it because it is no bad reflection on you and talking can help and is a good way to see if others might have input that could be of help to you. Plus it takes some of the power away when you are open about it and it isn't your secret to hide anymore.
I'm glad you wrote this post and I bet there are others reading who feel the same way and maybe they will be more open with their issues too. Good luck. Focus on your health and doing the best you can to be kind to yourself and your body--you deserve it!
Best,
M
Wow, thanks for sharing some so personal and worthwhile. I think most people struggle with this in some form or another. It would be hard to add much to what M said, but I agree with her that by talking about it you're bound to come across others with this issue and people who have conquered it before. I never really had trouble with binge eating per se, but I did overeat nonstop until I weighed over 300 pounds at one point. I've lost 100 pounds since then and what really did it for me was drinking tons of water, keeping NOTHING in the house that didn't need to be cooked first before eating, and becoming almost puritanical in what I ate - in other words, I would let myself gorge on carrots but never touch a single french fry. It's hard to gorge on carrots...
But that's a really good commitment and I am very hopeful, frankly, that the meme will be of some help to everyone who does it, and I'm sure it will be for you!
I also had a problem with binge eating growing up. I would sneak food and eat disgusting amounts of food when I was alone. I'm not really sure what motivated it...while I sometimes fall into the old pattern, I try to get myself to go and do something...
I think it's an important step for you to declare this. Just take it one day at a time. Then don't be too hard on yourself when you slip up.
I'm not as thin as when I was in high school and college. But I want to continue to be healthy and not to gain more and more weight as I get older.
So one motivation is for my daughter. I want to be a good role model for her. And I also want to remain healthy for her and my wife. I am aware of a lot of health problems that accompany overweight individuals. So that's what I do to stay healthy and not overeat. I do it for my family.
As someone who's dealt with a bunch of this kind of stuff, I have to say, I don't think you can really just say, "I'm going to stop, immediately, right now!" and stop. I don't think it works that way, unfortunately.
I do think that you can, and should, start investigating alternative coping mechanisms, and making sure that you're taking care of yourself well in other ways. I've always been startled by how little you seem to eat, and I wonder if you're not engaging in restriction cycles that can set you up for binges.
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